Choose to Dance

I admit – I cant dance.  I also admit – I have never been to this.  But what I will admit too is that a new dance program that is being run with the MS & Parkinson’s Society here in Canterbury is making a difference in the lives of those that attend that have MS or Parkinson’s.

Have I chosen to dance in the past.  Certainly.  I chose to dance at my wedding.  Beer helped me chose to dance on a fair few Friday nights and i did once dance on a stage as a Barley sugar.

Everyone has choices to make on how they live their lives. Have a look here to check out an interview with Adriaan.  He is making a choice every-time he runs a class to help people live better with their illness.  And that choice is one to be immensely proud of.

Choosing to make a difference in life is harder that choosing to dance ( especially when you are under the influence ).   I find it really easy to focus just on me and ignore how others are doing.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

An unexpected opportunity

Sometimes in life an opportunity presents itself that cant be ignored. This happened to me recently when I was asked about joining the committee that works with the MS and Parkinson’s Society of Canterbury.

I have been working closely with the society over the last 18 months helping to develop and deliver a course for people that are newly diagnosed with MS called “Living Well with MS”  I have learnt so much about myself and my MS in the process.

A myriad of questions wandered around my brain over the days leading up to my decision.  “Will i be able to manage the additional workload above and beyond my job and life?’,  “What do they do?’,  “What do i have to offer?”  and for some reason “Will there by cake?”

Having MS has taught me to make the most of opportunities.  I know I have much to learn and i know I will love making a difference.

The website for the Canterbury society http://www.ms-pd.org.nz/

For the record – there is no cake – YET.

A 7 year old boys mind is a weird place.

The mind of a 7 year old boy is a weird and wonderful thing.  It jumps and tumbles around all over the place.  One minute you can be talking about small copyrighted plastic bricks.  The next you will be talking about how cool it would be to be able to see farts. I did advise against this being a cool thing by the way.

The mind of our 7 year old boy is no different, it is a rapidly evolving landscape.  Whirring away at a million miles an hour, always learning, asking, deciding and processing.  But let’s be honest the average 7 year old boy would get lost picking his own nose.

This morning I had a humbling insight into the way our son’s mind works.  We were sitting down having breakfast and he suddenly remember something, a drawing from school during the week and ran off to get it.

During the week his school had given the class an exercise where they had to write something they were thankful for and then draw it.  For those that know Mr 7 it will come as no surprise that there was a picture of Blue Ted.  For those that don’t – Blue Ted has been his favorite Teddy since the day he was born.  His smell is second only in size to his personality.

Cautiously I asked ” What else are you thankful for?”, expecting the aforementioned small plastic bricks to be mentioned a lot.

I was wrong.

After a couple of spoonfuls of porridge and a rather awkward silence he came up with the following list.

“Mum”

“You”

“My friends at school”

“My best friend”

None of these were particularly out of the ordinary.  Until.

“Your Mum and Dad for bringing you up to be a great Dad”

“GrandMa and Grandad for bringing up Mum and Uncle R and Uncle L to be great people”

I Just sat there and stared at my porridge taken slightly aback by the thought process and at the same time feeling immensely proud.

Being a parent is tough at the best of the times.  For my wife and I, with us both having our medical battles it can be really tough.  We both struggle with fatigue, pain and the day to day trials of having an illness, working and running a home.

It is an never ending battle to find the energy to play, to laugh, to teach and sometimes even to sit and read a book with him.  And we only have the one child!

But all of the struggles are worth it when I can see we are helping to create a good, empathetic human and that is surely the primary objective of parenting.

If having MS is helping me to help Mr 7 grow up to become a good person then I can add it to my list of things to be thankful for.

All about choices

A couple of weeks ago I was in Melbourne at my work’s annual conference and it was all about people, one of the major focus’s was how can we make a difference for our clients and for each other.

One of the nights was particularly amazing for the team I am part of and definitely for me personally.  Not only did we all get awards for overachieving for the year but I picked up a special award for customer service.

These awards are proof that hard work alone isn’t enough, they also prove that the people around you make a difference, it’s the encouragement we give each other, the laughs we share and the heartaches that help us to do so well.

The awards pale in comparison with hearing a gentleman by the name of Michael Crossland speak.  I’m not going to go into his story and what makes him so inspiring but I really suggest you look him up online.  What he talked about was choice, the  choice we are all faced with every single day, the choice of being a better person.  The choice of getting out of bed and making a difference in someone’s life, it can be something as simple as a smile to a stranger, the thing is we can all make a difference and not even know it.  Michael made a difference in my life and I was fortunate enough to grab 5 minutes of his time afterwards to thank him for reminding me that I can make a difference.

This year is going to be huge for me.  I have been working with the incredibly talented #originalscripts to turn some of my blogs into a play.  Around the same time I will be releasing a compilation of the posts as an ebook.

More importantly the course that I had the honour of helping create for people newly diagnosed with MS will be run at least twice and also presented at an Australian wide MS nurses conference.

Are you tired yet reading all of that?  I am.

There are other goals I have for the year and I really should set aside some time for some work goals too.

But that is me.  That is my year.  That is some of what I am choosing to do.

With MS no one really knows what is going on inside my body.  It is the same with people.  You don’t always know what is really going on inside.  But a smile, a thank you or a kind word can make a world full of difference.

Michael reminded me it’s not only my choice as to how I live with MS but it’s also my choice as to how I really live.

What about you? Seriously. What will you do? How are you going to help make the world a better place this year?

I have been ROBBED

I’ve been robbed and I don’t really care.

I’m at a work conference in Melbourne and I’ve started to think to myself that I’ve been robbed.  No, some little toerag hasn’t stolen all my undies or my wallet.  No I think that I have been robbed of something else.

That is my ability to drink which is why I’m not convinced it is a bad thing.

It was over New Years that I first started to think this.  As we do every year we got together with some great friends for a night of laughter, booze and “the circle of death”.  I had 1.5 beers the whole night and a sneaky Mojito.  A few years ago at least a dozen beers would have disappeared and, oh dear Lord, let’s not mention the next day.

The funny thing is there was still a lot of laughter, the circle of death was still played and we spent time with our friends.  But I didn’t feel like rubbish the next day.  Well ok I did feel like rubbish but that was because of the late night not a hangover.

Maybe I’m growing up.  Maybe.

Don’t get me wrong here I like a good beer, particularly after working in the garden.  I also am rather partial to sitting on my deck of an evening with wee dram and looking at the stars.

So if I like to drink, why is it not such a bad thing that I just can’t drink anymore?  My MS has already given me some of the effects that alcohol does.  I get a bit wobbly feeling.  My body certainly does buzz at various times.  There are times when I feel very ill.  Apparently I tend to get a bit forgetful.  And there are mornings I just want to pull the duvet over my head and pretend the world doesn’t exist.

“So just what exactly has MS given me that too much to drink never did” I hear you thinking.

It has given me a greater appreciation of being alive.  I value getting together with friends.  I value spending time with my family.  I value the days when I can kick a ball around with my son.  I value the days when i need to rest and can lie down and read a book with him as well.

I know this conference will get quite boozy and I don’t care.  I’ll happily sit and drink a water and enjoy the company of those around me.  I may even have a beer or wine with them.

The peer pressure that exists when you are young to “get into it mate” is stupid, MS has taught me that.

My body literally won’t let me drink more than two beers now days or maybe it is one of the side effects of the medication.

So has my MS really robbed me or has it given me an unexpected gift?

I will let you be the judge of that.

Living with Fantails

In New Zealand we believe that a fantail ( which is basically a Sparrow with a nice bum ) symbolises a loved one who has passed away. So when one started faffing around, while my wife and I were sitting on the deck last night, it reminded me of all the people who aren’t here to celebrate Christmas with us.

More importantly it made me realise just how important the people here are. I couldn’t live as well with MS as I do without the love and support of family and friends.

My wife and son are incredible and keep me going every single day. They laugh with me when I trip over oxegyn or forget why I opened the fridge door.

They put up with me when I need a kindy nap and when the pain makes me grumpy.

Christmas is a time of giving but good people give all year. The hyperactive little Fantail reminded me of this.

From my family, we wish you a very Merry Christmas and we know you will have a fabulous 2017.

Listening to the grass grow.

There are times in life when it is good to sit back and think about the road that has got you to this second in time.  There are times when it isn’t so good – I am thinking in particular of some pretty horrendous decisions I made when I was younger at the hairdresser.  For the record I strongly don’t recommend bleaching red hair,  it ends up looking like you had a pee on your own head.

September is one of those months for me when I do reflect on what has led me to this moment in time.  Two people that are particularly important to me have their birthdays  The love of my Dad and my Aunt are exceptional and,  now that I have a modicum of sense at the hairdresser, unconditional.

On a sunny Saturday in September 1984 my Mum had a heart attack and passed away suddenly.  I was 13 and to say the least it sucked.  Funny – as I write this – a song called “Nobody’s sad on a Saturday night” just came on.  I was.  In the rear-view mirror of my life this day was worse than getting diagnosed with MS.

On a far more cheerful note September also holds a special anniversary for our family.  3 Years ago we packed our lives into some boxes and moved out to our new home in Kirwee.

Living here has taught me so much both myself and how to live better with my MS.

Probably the biggest lesson for me has been about bubble wrap.  No I’m not talking about the pure joy of sitting down and popping bubbles till your fingers hurt.  No.  Because that would be silly now wouldn’t it.  I’m talking not wrapping myself in bubble wrap and refusing to live with MS.

Let me give you an example.  At our old house it used to take me about 8 minutes to mow the lawns and that includes 3 minutes swearing at the lawnmower because it refused to start.  On those spring days when you can hear the grass growing behind you – I could maybe fill a catcher of grass.

I HATED DOING THOSE LAWNS.  I’d get frustrated and throw “tanties”.For no other reason than I felt it wasn’t fair that I hurt and was already tired before I started. It is safe to say that for a while there I wasn’t living with my MS very well.  Looking back –it’s as embarrassing as a few of the haircuts….. But if you don’t make mistakes in life then how the hell are you ever going to learn.

Over the last three years I have developed a far better way of looking at life with MS.  I’ve learnt to not only accept the fact I have it but to embrace it and live my life with it to the best of my ability.

I love doing my lawns.  Yes I still hurt.  Yes I’m still fatigued before I start.  Yes in September I can hear the grass grow behind me as I mow the lawns.  And yes the lawnmower just sits there looking at me like I just yelled at a kitten.  But – and this is what I am really trying to say – I still can mow my lawns and for this I am grateful.

What changed for me?  It can’t be something as simple as moving to the country and having a Peach Tree ( 90’s joke ).  No it was realising that I needed to make a choice to live better with my MS.  It is the love of,  and my love for,  my Wife,  my Son,  my Family and my Friends that helped me to change my attitude and to chose to live well with my MS.

Above all else September has taught me to appreciate what I have and that “A house is where you live but a home is where you love”.