Listening to the grass grow.

There are times in life when it is good to sit back and think about the road that has got you to this second in time.  There are times when it isn’t so good – I am thinking in particular of some pretty horrendous decisions I made when I was younger at the hairdresser.  For the record I strongly don’t recommend bleaching red hair,  it ends up looking like you had a pee on your own head.

September is one of those months for me when I do reflect on what has led me to this moment in time.  Two people that are particularly important to me have their birthdays  The love of my Dad and my Aunt are exceptional and,  now that I have a modicum of sense at the hairdresser, unconditional.

On a sunny Saturday in September 1984 my Mum had a heart attack and passed away suddenly.  I was 13 and to say the least it sucked.  Funny – as I write this – a song called “Nobody’s sad on a Saturday night” just came on.  I was.  In the rear-view mirror of my life this day was worse than getting diagnosed with MS.

On a far more cheerful note September also holds a special anniversary for our family.  3 Years ago we packed our lives into some boxes and moved out to our new home in Kirwee.

Living here has taught me so much both myself and how to live better with my MS.

Probably the biggest lesson for me has been about bubble wrap.  No I’m not talking about the pure joy of sitting down and popping bubbles till your fingers hurt.  No.  Because that would be silly now wouldn’t it.  I’m talking not wrapping myself in bubble wrap and refusing to live with MS.

Let me give you an example.  At our old house it used to take me about 8 minutes to mow the lawns and that includes 3 minutes swearing at the lawnmower because it refused to start.  On those spring days when you can hear the grass growing behind you – I could maybe fill a catcher of grass.

I HATED DOING THOSE LAWNS.  I’d get frustrated and throw “tanties”.For no other reason than I felt it wasn’t fair that I hurt and was already tired before I started. It is safe to say that for a while there I wasn’t living with my MS very well.  Looking back –it’s as embarrassing as a few of the haircuts….. But if you don’t make mistakes in life then how the hell are you ever going to learn.

Over the last three years I have developed a far better way of looking at life with MS.  I’ve learnt to not only accept the fact I have it but to embrace it and live my life with it to the best of my ability.

I love doing my lawns.  Yes I still hurt.  Yes I’m still fatigued before I start.  Yes in September I can hear the grass grow behind me as I mow the lawns.  And yes the lawnmower just sits there looking at me like I just yelled at a kitten.  But – and this is what I am really trying to say – I still can mow my lawns and for this I am grateful.

What changed for me?  It can’t be something as simple as moving to the country and having a Peach Tree ( 90’s joke ).  No it was realising that I needed to make a choice to live better with my MS.  It is the love of,  and my love for,  my Wife,  my Son,  my Family and my Friends that helped me to change my attitude and to chose to live well with my MS.

Above all else September has taught me to appreciate what I have and that “A house is where you live but a home is where you love”.